What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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