What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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