What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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