What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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