What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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