What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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