What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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