What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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