What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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