What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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