What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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