What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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