What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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