What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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