What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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