What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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