What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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