What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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