Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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