Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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