Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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