Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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