What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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