What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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