What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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