What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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