What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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