What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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