What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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