What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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