What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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