What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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