What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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