What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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