What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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