What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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