What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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