What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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