What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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