What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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