What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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