What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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