What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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