What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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