What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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