What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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