What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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