What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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