What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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