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What's the slipperiest country?
Greece!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?
A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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