What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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