What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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