What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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