What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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