When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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