When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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