When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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