When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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