When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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