When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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