When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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