When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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