When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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