When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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