When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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