When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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