When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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