When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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