When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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