When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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