When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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