When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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