When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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