When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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