When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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