Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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