Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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