Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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