Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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