Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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