Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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