Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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