Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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