Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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