Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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