Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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