Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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