Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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