Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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