Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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