Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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