Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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