Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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