Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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