Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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