Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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