Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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