Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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