Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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