Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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