Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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