Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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