Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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