Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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