Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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