Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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