Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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