Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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