Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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