Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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