Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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