Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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