Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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