Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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