Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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