Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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