Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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