Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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