Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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