Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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