Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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