Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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