Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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