Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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