Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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