Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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