Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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