Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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