Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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