Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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