Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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