Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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