Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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