Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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