Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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