Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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