Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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