Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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