Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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