Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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