Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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