Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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