Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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