Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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