Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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