Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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