Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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