Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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