Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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