Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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