Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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