Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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