Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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