Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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