Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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