Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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