Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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