Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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