Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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