Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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