Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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