Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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