Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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