Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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