Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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