Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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