Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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