Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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