Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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