Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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