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Where does Dorian Gray shop?
Forever 21
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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