Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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