Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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